Saturday, 6 September 2014

The 10 Biggest Advantages of Older Brothers

If you've got an older brother {or god forbid brothers} then there's no need for me to tell you the downsides, but there are upsides to having an older sibling...

001: You develop tough skin. Sometimes very literally. 
For all the chinese burns, dead arms and 'surprise' attacks (my brother once poured a bucket of water over my head from the upstairs window as I arrived home one night - just for fun), you aren't easily pushed around.

002: You know the difference between a real threat and an empty threat. 
Older brothers really know how to instil absolute terror into their younger siblings, but when there's a threat-a-day in your younger years, you develop a keen eye for the things that won't happen ("I'm going to cut your hair off in the middle of the night") to the things that actually have a high chance of following through ("I'm going to take all your barbie dolls and throw them out the top window so they break")
To answer your question - yes the latter did actually happen.

003: "I have an older brother" was a sure fire way to warn off boys who wanted to treat you like crap.
Equally, I recently learnt whilst out for drinks with my brother that telling any persistent guys who aren't picking up on your 'don't come any closer' vibe, that you're out with your brother is an excellent repellent.

004: The older kids.
You're brother might have ignored you at school but his older friends didn't.

005: You have guaranteed honest advice at your finger tips.
No one else wants to tell you that those jeans are too tight and you've got overhang - not too worry, you're brother is here to save the day!

006: You've mastered the art of not giving up in stupid, petty arguments.
So you realised you're wrong half way through the argument, but you'd rather pull off all your fingernails one by one than ever admit that to him. You remember the time you did admit to being wrong - he just reminded you about it 10 times during this very argument.

007: His wardrobe is an open shop.
Comfy hoodies, pj bottoms, oversized t-shirts and the best part? He never wants to borrow your stuff.

008: You learn to share.
Not by choice.
I learnt fairly early on in life that if I ever told my brother that something was mine and he couldn't have it that he would see that ultimately as a challenge to obtain whatever that was. 

009: He paved the way.
He turned up drunk at 16, he broke a window at school with a football, he got arrested. Either everything you do will pail in comparison (& you won't get in trouble) or you'll learn from his experiences to hide things a lot better than he did.

010: He'll pull through.
Need a place to crash for a while? Someone to bail you out when you've run short of money/got yourself into trouble? A not-so-judgemental stop gap between you and your parents? That's what brothers are for. They have to make up for that childhood torture somehow.

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  1. sorry for double commenting, not sure if my first comment went thru!

    5 and 7 made me laugh the most :D i have two older brothers and even though they picked on me they are always there for me when I need them :)


    1. Yeah my brother put me through hell as a child but he's a lot better now he's 25! Thanks for reading :) xx