Tuesday, 18 March 2014

21 Things You Learn Living in London

1. In the space of a five minute walk you can go from 'oh dear christ I'm going to get killed' to 'what a beautiful area'

2. The exact spot on the platform of your local tube on which you can stand so that the doors open directly in front of you and be totally smug every time it happens

3. Anyone who stands on the left of the escalator/lets their child stand on the left/puts a bag on the left immediately becomes somebody you hate

4. Getting home after the tube closes becomes too much effort so instead you opt for drinks after work to maximise drinking time before 12AM and successfully avoid night buses

5. London doesn't really look like the places you visited as a tourist (e.g. Covent Garden/Oxford Street/Big Ben) and you will only visit said tourist spots when you have to

6. Sitting downstairs on the bus will result in you mentally assessing every single person who gets on as to whether they deserve a seat more than you

7. On deciding to take a different tube exit to normal because 'surely you must know the area by now' you end up severely lost and go back into the tube to exit out of your normal route

8. On a similar note at a tube station you don't know so well with multiple exits you will never, ever choose the right one

9. You will tweet/instagram/fb post about how much you love quinoa & hummus but in reality you would know better where the nearest McDonalds was than the nearest health food store

10. Not to get the Bakerloo line with anyone you intend to talk to because its insanely loud

11. That the walk through the tube station will first be freezing due to the wind from the trains and then painfully hot on the train

12. Pretending to always have somewhere very important to be, even if you don't, just to fit in and becoming very annoyed at people who don't adopt the same attitude

13. Trying to open the Oyster card barrier with your bank card/tesco clubcard/house keys because you're so tired

14. Drinking during the week is acceptable if not encouraged. Happy hour prices are happy for a reason, weekend prices look similar to your rent bill

15. Not knowing, or wanting to know, what exactly is beyond Zone 3 (or if you are completely honest Zones 1 & 2)

16. That, however trendy and exciting, going to the latest pop up restaurants will actually result in queuing for too long, sitting in an overcrowded restaurant and waiting forever for food

17. You will however let everyone at work/on social media know that you went and it was #justamazing

18. That it isn't appropriate to make eye contact with anyone. Ever.

19. Feeling very sad that, as you grow to love it, you slowly face the reality that you will never ever be able to afford anything bigger than a one bedroom flat

20. That most of your knowledge about London revolves around transport because it's where you spend the majority of your time

21. Despite spending the majority of your day tutting/scowling/mentally cursing other people for the most minor things, you really really love this city

Until next time, E xx

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